Stumptown Coffee Roasters – Capitol Hill

stumptown-coffee-capitol-hill-seattleStumptown Coffee is amazing.  I love getting their coffee because it's fucking good and it's close to home.  They got 4 stars on yelp, but they deserve 5.  As a developer and programmer, it definitely gives you that superhero feeling when you begin coding object oriented programming and logic based functions.  I read some of the reviews and it's actually kind of funny.  I rememer some of them saying that $4.00 is a bit much for a latte.  McDonalds coffee sells for 99 cents and it probably takes like horse piss and if you really can't afford it, then they can make it at home for a fraction of the price. case closed.  I've had McDonalds "McCafe iced latte" for $1.99 and it takes like half salt water and half chocolate milk, the shit sucks. A cheap latte is like a cheap steak, steaks aren't made to be cheap in the first place, go get a hamburger or in this analogy, grab a Pepsi and shut the fuck up if really need the caffeine.  It's about the same price as Starbucks and I'm starting to think that the flavor of Starbucks is getting worse every year. I'm starting to wonder why Starbucks is pushing more alcohol this year? Get their customers drunk so they'll forget about their lack of flavor!?  (cough cough) I recommend the ice latte and cafe mocha at Stumptown. They are pretty consistent with the flavor and it's a different person making it all the time.  I'm sure that they have a lot of other good stuff but I haven't tried.

stumptown-coffee-capitol-hillOn second thought, I was reading the yelp reviews. Oh my god people. I saw one of the reviews and the girl said that the environment is a hipster vibe and the people who work there are too cool for school. Ok, first of all, a few of the people that work there wear band shirts of hard core punk bands fron New York or Death Metal shirts.  The music is usually a mix between jazz, folk, indie rock, punk, hard-core, classic rock, metal, and I'm sure a few odd ball genres from the 70s. I couldn't help but read more about this reviewer named (J) to see that she explained her love for another place in SF that has a history of the beatnik generation from "the 70s". First of all, the beatnik generation started from the early/mid 50s and phased out around the late 60s. She obviously doesn't know what the fuck she is talking about on yelp but at least she gave Stumptown a good score.  Ok so there's another douchebag named (M) who lives in Seattle and wore a Cincinnati Reds hat. He complains of the music they play in Stumptown, Oh God, it has nothing to do with the coffee. I'm sure he likes hearing his top 40 music and Powerade. I read another review about a guy named (C), who complained that they didn't smile at his ugly ass and so he gave Stumptown a low score by adding "they are paid to smile"…uh no asshole, when the fuck did small coffee shops have to smile all the time like they it's a fucking tourist attraction to entertain you?  Get your coffee and go, if they smile, that's probably because you left them a nice tip or made the initiative to conversate and ask them how they are doing?  Come as you are.  You can take a look at someone and know that they are hard working and probably have to deal with a lot of shit in life. That douche has a photo of him wearng a hawaiian shirt with one of the stupid cliche cocktail umbrella drinks, too bad they don't have the fun corporate job where they have the leisure time to write negative comments on yelp about small coffee shops because they didn't smile enough. These dickheads remind me of those people who cry and leave negative comments about the room service in fancy hotels of poor developing countries that only douchebags like them go to.

fair-trade-coffeeThe Capitol Hill location has crack heads on the corner, dumb fucking drunk college kids and their fraternity bros, along with obnoxiously frugal tourists on a daily basis.  I could imagine that local coffee farmers would give them the same attitude if they had to deal with these dumb ass characters all day long.  Well If you actually learn more about the fair trade coffee agreement, the face isn't a happy picture for all farmers and there is a lot of miserable and poor immigrants spending countless hours growing coffee so rich people can complain and make useless and trivial comments about a coffee shop that has nothing to do with coffee. I'm sure that there is dirty money and lost money on the part of all farmers regardless of how companies like these try to help local or fair trade farmers so  won't get into that but I'm sure you can read all about it if you Google it.  As I was reading more on yelp…another person wrote some stupid shit. Of course…(sigh)…when you read their profile, they "like" duncan donuts.  This kind of reminds me of dumb people who complain about smart cars and yet they are 400 pounds and expect to drive these cars at 100 miles per hour.  At any rate, take a break from Starbucks and get some real coffee at Stumptown Coffee Roasters.

 

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